Dear Ally,

Your question is one uttered by many single women today, even more so in certain geographical areas. I could give you a list of places to look for "good men" but I feel it is more important to identify why you are not naturally attracting this type of man into your life. What I mean is that we attract things, people, and circumstances according to what we think about and focus on. For instance, if I focus on "I can't meet a good guy" then I will attract men that fit into that belief. So instead

Dear Ira,
Many women go through what you are experiencing right now when they choose to leave their career to stay home with their children. It is an immense change, which often impacts a woman's self-esteem and relationship.  Society has not yet evolved to treating women with the same respect as when they choose to work outside of the home- thus making it quite difficult for many women. As well, you mentioned after having three children how badly you are feeling about your body. Again,

Dear Ariyanna,
A common mistake many women make is refusing to hear what the man is telling her. Instead, women will look for any reason or any "signs" to convince themselves that what he is saying is not what he really means. I promise you, what he is telling you is his truth. A man will tell you his truth; whether he is telling you he is not interested in marriage, having kids, or is not in love with you, believe him!

Dear Loveable,
You have every right to refuse to participate in any type of physical intimacy, which you feel uncomfortable with.  You have the right to honor yourself, your body, and your moral choices without guilt or shame. First, I would simply explain to your fiancé how you feel about this topic.