Dear “Ann”:

I hear how frustrated you are with your fiancé. You probably feel that if he would just listen, everything would be great in your relationship.  However, the real answer is so simple, stop!  Stop telling him what he should do, men do not respond to that type of communication.  Actually, most healthy functioning

adults do not respond well to being told what they should and should not do.  What does work is communicating with your fiancé in a loving manner in which you share your feelings and ideas.  For example; “Honey, you should stop working all the time, you’re a workaholic and it is ruining our relationship!”  Instead something like; “Honey, I know how hard you work, I would like to get to spend more time with you, can we find a way together to schedule some couple time which works with both of our schedules?”  Ann, can you see how the second example would work much better? Instead of putting your fiancé on the defensive, you are empowering him to participate with you to find a mutually satisfying solution.  Try it out; I know you will be impressed with the results.