Bree Maresca-Kramer


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My wife is always nagging at me, why can’t she appreciate what I do for her? Racr911

Dear Racr911:

It is definitely not easy to feel good in a relationship when you are feeling unappreciated and nagged at all of the time.  However, there is a simple answer to your question, gaining understanding and using effective communication.  Most women do not mean to nag or even think they are nagging.  In fact, they believe

they are trying to either get something accomplished or fix something.   The majority of women make the mistake of “nagging” out of sheer ignorance as to how they are actually coming across.


Once you understand that your wife probably doesn’t realize she is “nagging” you, your feelings about it can change.  You can see her and what she is doing in a whole new way.  From here, you can employ effective communication to let her know how you are feeling and what would work better for you.  For example, “Honey, when you tell me to do something over and over again, I feel nagged at and unappreciated for what I do get done and that doesn’t feel good…can we try a new approach?  How about when you would like me to do something, you write it down and then I will get to it as soon as I can because I know how much it means to you”.  The key here is to make sure you follow through or there will definitely be some nagging going on!   

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