Relationship Help

Relaitonship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.

Frustrated with your sex life?

No matter how many times you approach your wife, it seems like nothing leads to more sex?

Are you left scratching your head wondering how to get your wife to have more sex with you?

It’s simple!

Let me give you an analogy to help...

Imagine it is the dead of winter with below-freezing weather and you have one of the most incredible performance sports cars known to man in your garage. You see your car and think, Mmmmm … I want to take that baby for a ride! So you get into the car, turn on the ignition and speed off going from zero to 60 in five seconds flat. All of a sudden the car stops, you get out and open the hood to check out what is wrong. You see the car has no fluids! None! No gas, no oil, no transmission fluid, no brake fluid, no power steering fluid ,and no antifreeze. The car is completely dry and unable to perform.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Just like the car, in order for your wife to perform or even want to perform, she needs certain things to occur first. 

Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.   

This question usually comes to me from a woman who has been deeply hurt by a man who has cheated on her.

The feelings a woman can often experience when she finds out and deals with the unfaithfulness can range from shock, denial, disillusionment, betrayal, anger, rage, fury, disgust, nausea, bargaining, and an overall feeling like a complete fool.

Many times in this situation, a woman is left feeling not just the emotional reaction from the cheating but the loss of trust in herself as well as the loss of trust in others, especially men.

As well, often times her self-esteem will be tested. She can have thoughts such as, “Aren’t I good enough? Aren’t I sexy enough? Why aren’t I enough? What is wrong with me?” At the same time, she will have to grieve the loss of the “image” she had of her man as well as the relationship.

An infidelity is a devastating experience with many layers of healing which will need to be worked through. It is not as commonly spoken about; however, this happens to men as well. It seems that more and more women today are cheating on their partners. So really the question is “Why do people cheat while in relationships?”

Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.

Sex and intimacy do not always happen together. However, when they do you have the recipe for an incredible sex life!

So why doesn't it always happen together? Why do so many couples need relationship help when it comes to their sex life?

To begin, we all know what sex is but do you know what true intimacy with your partner really is?

The best definition of intimacy is a close personal connection between two people on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.

More explicitly, true intimacy is when you can stand “naked” physically and emotionally in front of your partner, feel loved and accepted, and provide that same love and acceptance back to your partner.

Having this type of true intimacy in your relationship is not for everyone. You see, it takes great courage, a willingness to be authentic, exposed, and vulnerable.

Both men and women can have a hard time with this either because they are just not willing to put themselves in this situation or do not know how.

Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.

I have found that both men and women often have trouble figuring out how to do this successfully. A great place to start is understanding that we are individuals first and a couple second. This means that we must first know, understand, address, deal with, and heal ourselves. This will enable us to show up to be the best possible partner in our relationship.

For example, if I do not fully know and understand who I am and what I desire, I may be left feeling lost or unfulfilled in my life. This can lead me to look at my life and especially my partner and blame these feelings on those external elements. It can actually trigger me to cause damage in the relationship that does not need to exist.